Dirty Thoughts
by Jellyfisher2
Summary: Left alone and bored out of his mind, Deidara notices a very attractive stranger. Being the person he is, Deidara can't seem to stop himself from fantasizing about the red headed stranger. Modern!au


**I should stop posting stuff at 12 in the morning. Oh well.**

**Hey everybody! I got this idea from a tumblr text post and just had to write it. A quick note though. If you feel like Sasori's out of character in Deidara's fantasies that's because Deidara hasn't met Sasori. He has no idea what he's like, so uh. Yeah. Enjoy!**

**(also posted on ao3 and my tumblr)**

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It was beyond him why he kept letting Itachi drag him into every book store they came across. He didn't even like the guy! Yet somehow it happened every time, which left Deidara to sit alone, bored out of his mind.

He turned the page of an art magazine he's read a thousand times before. At this point he had forgone reading it and only looked at the photos of random paintings and sculptures made by "up and coming artists". Deidara had to admit that the art pieces did look very well put together, but after so many read throughs they lost their charm. They were the same pieces every time. The monotone of it left a sour taste in his mouth.

Borderline disgusted, Deidara let the magazine drop onto his lap. He resigned himself to checking out the semi-empty store around him. _'There's some books, a magazine rack, books, another chair, and to no one's surprise, more books.' _He commented in his head. _'Oh look, small kids. They better not start crying. They're cute and all, but I don't do crying kids, yeah.'_

Two of the three kids were running around a small table that the third one sat at while quietly reading. Their faces were similar enough to be siblings. They probably were, which left Deidara to wonder where their guardian was.

"Stop running, you're in a store." Someone said outside of his line of sight. He would have looked, but his head was resting heavily on his hand and he just didn't care enough to.

"Sorry, Uncle Sassy!" The kid with purple face paint called out, ceasing their running immediately. The other child ran over to where the uncle was.

"It's Uncle _Sasori_. For the last time, stop calling me sassy." Deidara followed the face paint kid as they skipped over to their uncle, whom he couldn't fully see because half of Sasori's body was covered by a protruding bookshelf. He stepped forward to catch both children, letting Deidara see his full body.

_'Holy shit, I'm gonna have to call NASA because that body is out of this __**world**__.' _Deidara thought. All thoughts not concerning the absurdly attractive stranger were pushed out of his mind. _'There's just no way he's really real. I probably passed out from being so fucking bored and, oh god he's looking over here. Fuck, his face is just as hot as the rest of him. That's just plain unfair. I'm calling some major hacks, yeah.' _Although Sasori did look young, eighteen at the very least, Deidara was utterly captivated. Messy, bright red hair, adorably chubby cheeks, mixed with to-die-for brown eyes made for a very _addictive_ looking human being, and Deidara was hooked.

_'All I want is for him to sit on my lap, repeatedly.' _Deidara thought before drifting off in a fantasy.

_Sweaty bodies mingle together on a small couch. Soft lips trail along his neck while hands harshly tug at his long hair. He lets himself go limp against the back of the couch and lets his partner do all the work. Sasori's hips bounce wonderfully on his own, drawing out low moans from both parties. _

_ "Hey, hey, don't just sit there, do some work." Sasori says, his flush red face next to Deidara's. His brown eyes burned with passion._

_ Without responding verbally, Deidara grabs his face to bring it even closer, placing several small kisses on his lips. Sasori continues moving his hips as Deidara draws out their kisses. Their mouths end up meshing together, both open and toying with the other._

The image faded instantaneously when the blond child pushed their sibling to the ground, causing them to scream loudly. Deidara flinched, not expecting it at all. He checked his lap to make sure the art magazine hadn't fallen off. He didn't want anyone to see his current…problem.

"What have I told you about screaming?" Sasori snapped. He had a thick book open in his hands. The title of it was blocked by manicured hands.

_'I want those hands on me.' _Deidara immediately reprimand himself for the thought. _'Stop being so dirty, yeah.' _Though, that didn't stop the mental image of Sasori dragging him into the bathroom and jerking him off in the dirty stall as he desperately tried to keep quiet.

_His moans bounce off tile walls. A mouth presses itself against his to stop them. It pulls away long enough to say, "Someone's gonna walk in if you don't keep quiet." Deidara nods, quickly kissing Sasori again. _

_ Sasori's hand moves quicker and rhythmically. It makes him light head, how good it feels. He was so close-_

He snapped out of it when the kid shouted, "Temari pushed me!" An accusing finger was pointed at Temari, who wore a smug expression that said, "Hell yeah I did it."

"Keep your voice down, you weren't raised in a barn. And Temari, at least wait until we're at home to bully your brother." Sasori put his book back on the shelf without taking his eyes off the kids.

Temari pointed back at her brother. "I wasn't bullying him! He called my pigtails dumb."

Sasori stared at her for a moment before shrugging. "Alright then. Go find your book already." She smiled and hurried to a brightly colored bookshelf. _'Why are kids always running?'_

"You're taking her side?!" His faced was blocked from view, but Deidara imagined he was close to throwing a tantrum. Sasori walked over and squatted next to his nephew, unwittingly giving Deidara the beautiful sight of his extremely nice ass.

_'Hot damn, I would plow that ass like a corn field. I would love to see him bent over and screaming my name.' _ An almost evil smirk etched itself on his face as he pictured it.

_The air is a mixture of groaning, whimpers, and skin slapping. The latter increases when Deidara grabs Sasori's hips for better leverage to speed up his thrusts. Sasori presses his face further into the floor, muffling his moans._

_ "H-harder!" He calls out._

_ 'I've got a real problem, yeah.'_

"I'm not taking sides, Kankuro. You insulted her and she retaliated. What did you expect?" Kankuro puffed up at the words, like he was about to fight Sasori. However, he quickly deflated when Sasori petted his head. "Now, please find a book. I don't want to be in here all day again."

"Yes, Uncle." The kid said as he practically leapt to the kids themed bookshelf.

'_God, kids are so weird.' _Deidara thought. His arm was going numb, so he picked his head up and shook the arm. _'So glad I don't have any.' _

Sasori carefully picked himself up and strolled over to the tall shelves. He surveyed the rows of books that Deidara knew he would find dull. When Sasori came to a book he found interesting, he picked it up and opened to a random page. Deidara watched as Sasori read the words on the page, his mouth moving as if he were saying the words.

'_I wonder what else those lips would be good on…'_

_A secluded area hides them from view. Deidara is only fifty present sure there is a table in front of him. At the moment he could only see Sasori looking up at him from between his legs. A teasing smile and a few licks have Deidara practically melting. Pathetic, yes, but damn, it feels ridiculously good._

_Longer licks have him unable to sit still. His hands grab at everything, the table, his chair, his own arms, everything but Sasori. He couldn't risk arousing suspicion of what they were doing. Although, his heavy breathing, flush face, and moans (that grew slightly louder as Sasori was now bobbing his head) probably gives it away anyway. _

_His head makes a loud thump_ _against the table. Sasori pulls off of him to smirk. And wow, even his smirk is crazy attractive. "Enjoying yourself?" He asks. His lips are a brilliant, shiny red. _

"Uncle Sasori!" Kankuro said loudly, scaring the piss out of Deidara.

'_This kids needs to turn it down.' _He thought as shifting in his chair. He was careful to make sure the magazine didn't fall from his lap. He wouldn't want anyone to notice his problem.

"What is it?" Sasori asked in a flat tone. He was much closer than before, nearly three feet from Deidara's legs. _'How the fuck did I not notice?' _Deidara felt his face heat up. He would have looked away, but it seemed Sasori hadn't even noticed him.

"How many books can I get?" Kankuro had several books stacked in his arms. His sister shook her head, clearly unimpressed with her brother.

Sasori mirrored Temari's unimpressed look. Now that he was closer, Deidara could see smaller details, like Sasori's faded freckles and brown eyes that caught the light in just a way that they turned nearly a million different shades of gold. It was hopeless at this point, Deidara was smitten.

"I've said this a hundred times, you get one book."

"But _Sasori!" _Kankuro protested.

"Whine and you'll be the only one not to get a book." Kankuro tried to give his uncle puppy dog eyes. Sasori remained unimpressed. "Look, your sister and brother-" he gestured to the redheaded child sitting at a table, who Deidara had completely forgotten was there. "-already have theirs. We're waiting on you."

Defeated, Kankuro sighed. "Alright, alright! Give me a second!"

"Mhm."

'_No kid, take your time. I don't want Sasori to leave yet.' _Deidara moved around in the seat again. With his erection, he couldn't find a way to sit comfortably _and _hide it at the same time. It was his own fault, but that didn't mean he was happy with it. There was a small part of his mind that hoped Sasori would alleviate it. _'The chances of that happening are astronomical, yeah. That would be great, though.'_

Suddenly, someone tapped his shoulder, causing Deidara to jump out of his skin. He quickly glanced over to whoever touched him. It turned out to be only a store employee. "Excuse me, do you need help? You've been sitting there for a while."

"W-what?" His heart was beating frantically against his chest. _'Calm down, you're fine.'_

"Are you alright? Your face is all red." They looked legitimately concerned.

He panicked. "It's nothing, I'm, uh, sick!"

"Oh." They took a step back and asked again, "Um, do you need any help?"

"No. Uh, no thank you. I'm good, yeah." They have him a courteous smile and walked off.

'_Holy shit. That could've been a huge disaster. It's a good thing they can't read my thoughts.' _He looked back at Sasori, who had gone over and was picking up the small redhead child._ 'But like…what if someone could read my thoughts?'_

Deidara paused and looked around the store. _'Hey! If you can read my thoughts then cough right now, yeah!'_

In an instant, Sasori turned to look him directly in the eye and made the fakest coughing sound Deidara had ever heard.


End file.
